Gerard: wasn't there something we were supposed to do today?
Frank: probably. i can't remember. your tiny moss suit onesie is just so freakin' adorable
Gerard: well your tiny buckles are adorable
Frank: no your face
Gerard: no YOUR face
GNOM OM NOM NOM FACE SLURP
Lord Nelson Action Figure: heathens! stop your face-sucking! you have a duty to your bubble palace to fulfill. it is the day of the raffle! you must call it upon yourselves to disentagle your tiny adorable faces and call out the righteous winners!
Frank: whoops, sorry Lord Nelson Action Figure.
Gerard: woah, do you not have an arm OR an eye? you must be the coolest Lord Nelson Action Figure ever.
Lord Nelson Action Figure: aye.
Frank: hahahahahah it's funny because you only have one
Gerard: hahahahhahhaha lol so punny one aye i get it
Lord Nelson Action Figure: ....
Gerard: frank, are there really that many people watching?
Frank: uhm, shit, wow, i guess so. and they're not blinking, either.
Gerard: that's such a big crowd!
Frank: and that's a really big hat.
Gerard: wow. we're really going to draw out of a hat?
Frank: i wasn't expecting a hat.
Gerard: me either. i thought it was just a metaphorical hat.
Frank: well, you know her, she's never really been very good with subtlety, i honestly don't think she'd know a metaphor if it --
AUTHOR GOD VOICE: OKAY I GOT IT MOVE IT ALONG
Frank: oh, uhm, sorry
AUTHOR GOD VOICE: JUST REMEMBER WHO HOLDS YOU HAPPY ENDING IN THEIR HANDS, OKAY. REMEMBER.
Frank: heh heh heh I love our author
Gerard: me too heh heh heh
Frank: om nom author
Gerard: okay i think she gets it
Gerard: who are we going to get to draw the names? i don't think we can get in that huge, totally non-metaphorical hat. we're pretty tiny.
Frank: i don't know. maybe we could ask --
Frank: oh, uhm, hey starfish. actually, we were just thinking we might ask malcolm reynolds over there. or that weird fake stuffed chicken. or maybe that disembodied head of dwight schrute --
Starfish: ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEEEE
Frank: i really don't think --
Darth Vader: i find your lack of faith disturbing
Frank: i find the fact that i am about to piss my clay britches disturbing, honestly.
Darth Vader: choose the starfish. i swoosh my cape dramatically.
Frank: oh, come on. you like him?
Darth Vader: i made us friendship bracelets with the power of my mind.
Frank: starfish it is!
Starfish: *DIVES IN*
Frank: oh now you're just making a mess.
Gerard: he's just showing off because he can actually move his arms
Frank: stupid stuffed finger puppet
Gerard: srsly you guys
Frank: you guys srsly
Gerard: do you have the winners yet? i have some face-sucking to get back to
Starfish: got 'em! also some papercuts on my privates. ~~~~WORTH IT!
AND THE WINNERS ARE!
Frank: well, it looks like that's it! Congrats to _audrey, submissionadict, silentdescant, greedy_dancer, and absenteye! Author Voice will be emailing you shortly to get your shipping addresses and --
Frank: oh, hey. uhm.